Nov 8, 2024

Today was my routine mammogram and lung CT.  I was more nervous about the lung results than the mammogram.  I never expected anything to be wrong with my mammogram.  Everything went as planned and I left the office more worried about the follow up results from my lung nodules we’ve been following for the past three years.  I went about my day with few concerns.  

Nov 12, 2024

Today I received news per mychart as well as a phone call from my doctor that my lung CT looked good and my nodules were stable!  Hooray!  That was the biggest relief.  I then decided to check mychart for my mammogram results, thinking everything would be normal.  I read the words “spiculated mass” in my left breast and was immediately concerned, as I googled spiculated and found out it isn’t a good shape to have on a mass. Then came the phone call.  I knew they were going to tell me about the mass.  They said I would need to have a follow up diagnostic mammogram as well as an ultrasound to further investigate the mass.  I was beginning to worry.  The following day, a nurse called with an appointment for me to have those procedures on Nov 26.  

Nov 26, 2024

Today was the day for my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound.  The mammogram went just as I expected, like any other mammogram.  Slightly more uncomfortable than the previous one.  The ultrasound was quick.  The woman left the room and a doctor came in to tell me that it did in fact look suspicious and I would need a biopsy.  I already expected to get a biopsy eventually, due to the shape of my mass and that damn word “spiculated”.  Google didn’t help my nerves with that word.  Anyway, the doctor had already called over and set me up to have a biopsy on Dec 4.  Of course I agreed on that day.  The sooner the better.

**The week leading up to my biopsy was difficult.  The human mind can create havoc.  My mind raced all day every day until I could get in there to have something done.

Dec 4, 2024

FINALLY the biopsy day had arrived.  I was nervous because I didn’t know what to expect.  It turned out to not be as painful as I had anticipated.  The numbing was the worst part.  The care team was wonderful and took great care of me.  I actually had a sense of relief that evening because I knew it was no longer in my hands.  I just had to wait for the word benign or malignant.  

Dec 5, 2024

I paced all day at work.  I knew at any minute I could receive life changing news.  It was an extremely hard day.  I received the call around 4:00 pm.  I was still at work.  I had had two missed calls on my phone from my doctor.  I already started getting a sinking feeling.  Why was he calling and not his nurse?  I knew it in my gut.  When I finally spoke to him, the words “invasive ductal carcinoma” is what I heard.  My heart sank.  I immediately began to tear up.  He explained that people would be contacting me to move to the next steps in my treatment.  We hung up the phone.  “I have cancer”.  Thats all I had in my head.  I immediately began to sob.  My coworkers came to comfort me.  I called my husband first to tell him the news.  It was a difficult call.  Then my mother next.  I was still in shock.  It was too overwhelming to process.  

**The next appointment was scheduled with my cancer care team for Dec 12.  I would be meeting with my surgeon, oncologist, and nurse navigators.  The week leading up to that appointment was a living nightmare.  Complete agony.  All I had to go on was that I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I had my results in mychart but they were difficult for me to understand without a breakdown from my oncologist.  The time couldn’t go by fast enough to get to the 12th.

Dec 12, 2024

Today I met with my entire team.  I was at my appointment for about 3 hours.  The oncologist came in to speak with me first.  I was feeling optimistic.  I guess ignorance truly is bliss because at the moment I didn’t fully understand my results.  He first wanted to know what I knew before he told me everything.  All I could tell him was that I knew I had cancer and that it was invasive ductal carcinoma but I didn’t know a whole lot more.  He broke the news to me that I have triple negative breast cancer.  TRIPLE NEGATIVE BREAST CANCER.  The most aggressive type.  My world was turned upside down right there in that tiny hospital room.  I was devastated.  It felt like a death sentence. I'll save you time on googling triple negative breast cancer...it isn't good. My husband was with me and had to keep reminding me of the positives the doctor was saying.  Stage 1.  We caught it early.  Over 90% survival after the first five years.  Another devastating part of the conversation was hearing my treatment plan.  I would be receiving chemotherapy FIRST…before surgery.  All I wanted to do at that point was cut this cancer out of me.  Unfortunately, with triple negative, the first line of treatment is a very aggressive chemotherapy approach.  I would be receiving double chemotherapy for the first 8 weeks, followed by 12 weeks of regular chemotherapy, then a mastectomy to remove my left breast.  Wow.  That’s a lot to take in within 30 minutes.  I couldn’t think straight.  My mind was completely frazzled.  I was so afraid.  The surgeon also spoke with me about my options following chemo.  I would be getting a chemo port placed under my skin prior to my first chemo treatment.  They were trying to find a day to work me in for the outpatient surgery.  This day was much more difficult on me mentally than the day I found out I had cancer.  I was also told that I’d be having labwork done for a genetic test, as well as an echocardiogram to make sure my heart is healthy enough to withstand the intense chemotherapy.  

Dec 17, 2024

Today was my echocardiogram.  I was happy to get it completed as that’s one more step closer to getting this fight started.  I will be meeting with a doctor tomorrow for chemotherapy education.  I think it will be very helpful.  My port placement surgery is scheduled for Dec 23.  I’m so very scared of everything that is to come but at the same time I’m ready to begin this fight for my life.  I dropped to my knees today and prayed to God.  I prayed so hard to carry me through this and to give me life to live and a purpose for all this.  I wlll do anything He sees is my will.  I hope to be able to help others someday.  I’m determined to fight this fight and come out on the other side with a renewed self.  My faith in God will see me through.  I hope to make God proud.  

Dec 18, 2024

Today I met with the chemotherapy educator.  She provided lots of good information regarding my chemo treatment.  She also gave me a tour of the facility of where I will be receiving my infusions.  It was a good visit.  I left feeling relaxed.  

Dec 19, 2024

As with any life-changing diagnosis, I chose to meet with another cancer team to get their ideas for treatment options. This morning I got to meet with my surgeon at the Brown Cancer Center in Louisville.  I was excited to meet with them because Brown center was my original choice for cancer treatment.  I was a little anxious about what their treatment options would be and how it would compare to the cancer team in Elizabethtown.  I was a little thrown off when they presented the treatment plan, as it differed from the one I had in place from the other cancer team.  Brown center wants to perform surgery first, chemo second.  I have mixed emotions about it.  I’m excited to get the cancer removed, however I’m nervous about the wait time involved while planning surgery, receiving surgery, recovery, etc PRIOR to receiving my chemotherapy.  I wish I could receive chemo as soon as possible but I’m putting my trust into this cancer team and before anyone else, I’m putting my trust in God.  The team also wants me to have a breast MRI to check my right breast to make sure nothing was missed in the mammogram.  This also gives me a little anxiety as it is another step that seems to prolong surgery and chemo.  Hopefully they can get me in very quickly for the MRI.  With the holidays approaching it may not be very easy.  I can just keep praying about it and hope things will work out the way God intends for them to work out.  

Dec 23, 2024

Today was surgery day for my chemo port placement.  To say I was anxious would be an understatement.  David and I headed out early as I had to be at the hospital by 6:00am.  I kept praying for God to be with me and bring me peace and calm.  He answered in the biggest way.  I was feeling calm during pre-op.  The nurses were very nice.  One nurse took me back and got me into my gown, took my vitals, and went over some health history.  A member of the anesthesia team came in and introduced himself and asked me a few questions.  Then the doctor came in to see me briefly before they took me back for surgery.  I kept praying for God to be the wisdom and strength all of us needed during the surgery.  I asked that He be with the doctors and nurses as they worked on me.  The nurse came in and gave me a little versed in my IV to relax me a little before they took me back.  Then it was time to go.  They wheeled me into the surgical room and moved me to the surgery table.  They began strapping my legs and put some oxygen on my face.  They told me I would be getting sleepy.  I could feel it coming on.  The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room.  I was so grateful the surgery was over.  I felt pain on the right side of my chest.  They gave me some medication to help with it.  I was very cold and shivering so they placed heat inside my blanket to warm me up.  The recovery nurse was also very caring.  She got me some ginger ale and made sure I was as comfortable as I could be.  They watched my vitals a little longer and also took an x-ray to make sure the port placement looked good before they could discharge me.  I wasn’t in recovery very long before it was time for me to go home.  I couldn’t wait to get into my warm bed and take a nap.  I was in a lot of pain.  It hurt to move, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to do anything.  I placed ice packs and took my hydrocodone when it was time.  The first night sleeping was very difficult because I’m NOT a back sleeper and I’m required to sleep on my back for the first couple of weeks.  Hopefully that will get better soon.  David has been so caring and wonderful through all of this.  He is taking such good care of me.  Everyone in the family has been so good to me.  Everyone is so understanding and has been great at helping out.  I am truly blessed.  

Dec 25, 2024

Merry Christmas!  I’m so thankful my surgery is over and I can enjoy Christmas with my family.  I’m still extremely sore on my right side but I was able to get up and do a few things today.  I enjoyed watching the kids open their gifts this morning.  I made a pot of coffee.  I took a bath (which my sweet husband drew up for me).  He is so loving and caring.  I’m blessed beyond measure to have him by my side during all this.  I was able to straighten up my bedroom a little (using my left arm only).  I feel like I’ve been somewhat productive today. Plus I got to take off the outer bandage over my port. I still have to leave the strips on for another week until my follow up. Today was a good day.   I want to wish Jesus a very Happy Birthday today.  He is the reason for the season and I’m so grateful to have Him on my side.